The other day, my assistant said he wished it would rain or snow. I smirked a little at first, thinking what an oddity. Only my mother would pray for rain (for her garden). But I know exactly what he means.
It’s been a very difficult month for me. One month ago my sister died. I was strong and “fine” for a while. But now I am not.
Then, on the first of the year, my brother’s house burned down. I was not and am not fine.
On top of it, I had usual issues to deal with. Usual for me, anyway. Like my last post about health insurance.
Then this week I got sick. First it was just a general feeling of malaise. As the days passed, I felt worse and worse. Thursday it hit me like a bomb. This morning, I am finally up and moving, without my husband’s help.
I have been avoiding my friends. I barely talk to anyone. I have not been responding to comments on this blog. I just keep pushing through the days. Going to work. Going back home. Going to bed.
So now I am thinking, I wish it would rain or snow. It would make all of these things so much easier to deal with. Ankara is covered in smog. The air filled with pollution. Ankara sort of lies between hills and mountains (and is full of hills) making it difficult for air to move. Everyday we have a forecast of sun. But we have not seen it. In fact, yesterday, I thought I saw a full moon rising in the late afternoon. It was actually the sun setting behind a thick grey cover.
If it rained or snowed, it would help clear the skies, and clean the air. I might see the sun during the day. The birds that flew overhead this morning might actually look black instead of grey. I might be able to come up for air. Who knows, I might even see a star at night and clear my head.