Yep, it’s only been 3.5 months, but I’m heading back to the States. This time I have some business to tend to, but will visiting my family for the most part. Once again, as I anticipate my departure, I am salivating over thoughts of food.
Yes, pork is at the top of my list: bacon, scrapple, sausages, italian sausages, pork chops, pork roast, and all of the lovely lunch meats – especially the Italian lunch meats. And I’m not going to pay a lot for my muffler!
Turkish food is good. Yes, it’s good. But sometimes, especially when I am about to head State-side and chomp down on a huge Alaskan King Crab leg, all I can do is bitch about it. If one more person tries to shove a dolma down my throat, I’m just going to scream! Please, your grandmother’s recipe? Seriously? It’s a bland green pepper or bland grape leaf, stuffed with bland rice. What’s that? You added mint and onion? Great. Peasant food. Ugh.
Just once, I would like to go to a restaurant that didn’t have kofte on the menu. I know, there’s like 10 different kinds of kofte. But just because one shapes them differently doesn’t mean they taste differently. And yes, you can call it a kebap if you like. It’s ground meat with cumin. Done.
Vision of cheesesteaks danced through my head. I will even eat from the Philadelphia streets’ food trucks. Mmmm mmmmm good. I betcha Grandma never made those! Back in WC, I’m not so picky.
I will eat any kind of pizza. I don’t have to beg, over and over, for extra-extra sauce just so the pizza has enough so I can actually see an inkling of red.
Steaks. Okay, I admit Butcha does a great steak, as long as they bring the one you order and not the so-called “Dallas” steak which is nothing but fat. And I am not one to complain about fat lightly. But for the most part, steaks should NOT be cut to 1 cm thick, hammered, murdered with salt, and then cooked to the last drop of juice has dried. It’s just a crime. Let’s not even talk about what is done to lamb chops. And yes, I like the spices, and the salt sometimes too, the lamb and cow were already killed once. At this point, it’s just beating a dead horse!
The variety – over and over I write about this. So we spent the weekend at the Black Sea. It’s just a beautiful place. Gorgeous. And “famous” for its fish restaurants. The menus of each and every place has the names of the same fish with the same prices. Not one said how the fish was cooked. Not one named another ingredient, herb, sauce – because not one used any of them. Boring. Boring as hell. Head, skin, tail. Grilled. Done.
Variety. I am sooooo going to get a cob of corn that I prefer to eat rather than feed it to a cow. The corn here is gross. Really bad. And everyone here loves the corn. No exceptions. No kidding.
Yogurt. The yogurt is great. It’s also necessary. You have to cover those dolmas with something to help them go down.
Lobster tail. Sauteed scallops. Baked stuffed clams. Can’t wait.
Sushi. I can find pretty good sushi here. True. But there is no Philadelphia-style Morimoto. And no one here like my friend Freddie who knows how to special order sushi. And much like home, Chinese places have taken to serving Thai and Japanese food. It just ain’t right.
Roast beef. This one’s for you Steve! There’s just no roast beef here. Try explaining it to the butcher. I have literally decided that I’m going to get my Turkish on, stamp into a butcher shop, map of slaughtered cow in hand, and teach the butchers how it’s done.
Yams. Sweet potatoes. Red potatoes. Fingerlings.
Oh, I’m sooooo going to eat my way through the next few weeks.