Category Archives: Films

Another Loss for the Music Industry – Singer Whitney Houston

The Music Industry and the world has lost another beautiful talent at a young age.  Whitney Houston passed away yesterday at the age of 48.  The goddaughter of Aretha Franklin, she left behind a legacy of songs and films that moved the world.

When I think of Whitney, I always picture her with Kevin Costner in the film, The Bodyguard.  I don’t know why.  Perhaps because I always thought she was so beautiful and of course, he is hot.  In fact, as I was flipping channels last night, one of his films was playing – in English but with subtitles that weren’t even Turkish.  I didn’t recognize the alphabet.

Whitney joins the ranks of many talented artists that left this world too early, Janis Joplin, Patsy Cline, John Lennon, Bob Marley, Tammy Wynette, Elvis Presley, Mama Cass Elliot, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, Freddie Mercury, Aaliyah,Billy Holiday, Judy Garland three from Lynyrd Skynrd in one airplane crash, and so many more.  No matter the reason for their deaths, theya re missed.  Whitney will be too.  Rest in Peace.

You can read a full are article here:

Singer Whitney Houston Found Dead | Fox News.

Ho-hum . . . How to Get Rid of the Winter Blues in Ankara

Now that we are in the heart of winter and all the “good” holidays have passed, i.e. Bayram, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year, our thoughts turn to “what to do now”?  For many people, winter is a dark and lonely time of year, especially for those inflicted with SADS (Seasonal Affective Disorder).

For expats, winter can often bring out the worst in us.  We struggle daily with adjusting to life in our host country.  We enjoyed the long holiday of Bayram, but most of us likely didn’t participate in Turkish traditions such as visiting family and neighbors starting with the eldest.  We felt a little lost at Thanksgiving and Christmas, even though a few of and our friends and families celebrated with us.  Let’s face it; the holidays are just not the same when the rest of the country is going about their regular routines.

So how do we spend the rest of winter?  I’m here to tell you that for the most part, you can spend winter doing the same things you did back in your home country.  Nothing has really changed!  In fact, winter is the perfect time to explore those parts of the city and the country that have been on your to do list.  Here are a few suggestions:

  •  Skiing and snowboarding – try Elmadağ in Ankara or take a weekend trip to Kayseri.  At 3,916 meters, Erciyes is actually taller than Bavaria’s Zugspitze!
  • Spend an afternoon at Cer Modern enjoying a free art exhibit and lunch.
  • Still haven’t been to a hamam?  Get to it!  What a great experience!
  • Take a day trip to Kızılcahamam.  There’s nothing like relaxing in a heated outdoor pool filled with natural spring water while snow is falling on your head.  While you are there, drive to the top of the mountain, hike through the woods, and take advantage of the spas and hamams at any of the local hotels.
  • Experience a musical, play, or ballet at the Ankara Opera House.
  • Stroll around Eymir Gölü and revel in the beauty of the winter silhouette.  Enjoy a good meal while you are there.
  • Go cheer on a local basketball team.
  • Seek out concerts and exhibits at local universities.
  • It’s easy to travel in warmer weather, but you are missing out on the beauty of winter season in Amasra, Istanbul, Izmir, Cappadocia, and so many other places!  Just do it!

And don’t forget, there’s still our old favorites:  cuddling up with a good book, learning new recipes, visiting all of the museums, joining a gym or taking a class, starting a club like a book club or a photography club, going to the theater or the mall, volunteering with your favorite organization, starting that blog you meant to write but never did, visiting friends, and taking in the cultural events offered by many local groups, associations, and universities!

UPDATE - Thanks to my hubby for providing this link to the Ankara Jazz Festival!

On Being Gay in Turkey

No, I’m not gay.  Although I do have a former neighbor who might argue that point.  Lot’s of my friends are black, I mean gay.  I have to laugh here.  I have heard so many times over the years, upon an acquaintance discovering I am part African-America, the same sentence, “Lots of my friends are black.”  And I always respond the same way, “Really?  Have you been to their homes?  Have they been to yours?” [Sarcasm added.]

But truly, lots of my friends are gay.  And yes, they have been to my home and I have been to theirs.  In fact, I invited one friend to live with me.  I wasn’t afraid or anything!  [Sarcasm again.]

I used to live in the heart of Philadelphia’s “gayborhood”, or what I liked to call, “the gay ghetto.”  As a straight person in my 8-unit building, I was part of a clear minority.  Philadelphia boasts lots of gay bars, the big annual gay pride parade, at least one fitness center that is predominantly gay, gay flag football leagues, at least one gay newspaper, and the bell of the ball – the Henri David Halloween Ball!  Go Philly!

I probably mentioned in one of my earlier posts that my wedding was a rainbow of nationalities and colors.  We had guests that were born and raised in far-away lands:  Eritrea, India, Jamaica, Australia, Germany, China, and more.  Shades ran from porcelain white vanilla to creamy dark chocolate, with hints of lemony yellow and cherry red in between.  But in addition, our wedding was a rainbow of life choices.  Old and young married couples, lots of singles, and at least three gay couples and one lesbian couple.  Our wedding was fabulous!

But now to the heart of this post, did you know that in Turkey there are no gays? Ask almost any Turk on the street.  They would be embarrassed by such a question!  Of course there aren’t!  The fact that men walk arm in arm, kiss each other in public, wear extremely tight pants, and hold wrestling events in which they wear leather pants, go topless, and smother themselves in olive oil means nothing. Tee hee.

Seriously though, I know religion plays a major role in many lives, but I am wondering if that is the reason that so many people here will tell you Turkey is without gays.  None of us cross all of our t’s and dot all of our i’s when it comes to practicing our religions.  We “live in sin” with our lovers, we drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes, we eat shell fish, we have abortions, and some of us even support our gay friends.

Yes, I am Catholic.  And I am the first to admit that I definitely don’t follow all of the rules.  Thank Goodness!  And I praise the Lord that some of my gay friends do not feel as though they are pushed out of the Catholic Church, and continue to practice their faith as well.

I know of three gay men in Turkey.  One is a Brit who blogs about being gay in Turkey.  I have never met him personally, but he’s an awesome guy!  I believe his partner is also a Brit.  (I should get back to reading his blog more regularly so that I can confirm that.)

The second is a Canadian.  I only met him once, and frankly, just assumed he was gay.  I did get confirmation on that later.  Although I did not ask the nationality of his partner, or if he currently even has one.  (If he doesn’t, my male friends should check him out.  He’s hot!)

The third is another Brit.  Although I am not close with him, I do know that he has a Turkish partner.  Aha!  There it is!  A Turkish gay male!  I knew there had to be at least one.  [Sarcasm again!]

I must admit that I don’t know much about the gay lifestyle here, but I felt compelled to write about it.  I am told that there are gay bars down in Ulus.  I would like to learn more about that.  To me, Ulus can be a very cool place by day. But at night, it looks very seedy.  Bars are open until the wee hours of the morning.  Hookers run the streets.  Gambling goes on there.  Lots of fights in the streets.  And I’m told this is the home to the local mafia.  This is not a place where I would want to see my gay friends hanging out, thrown in with the “deviants”.  But perhaps I am wrong.  If you know any better.  Let me know.

Finally, I would like to pass on some good news.  I hear Turkey will hold it’s first ever Queer Film Festival!  It’s to take place right here in Ankara – the country’s capital.  (I can’t believe it’s not in Istanbul or Antalya) and starts November 17th.  I have no idea from where Turkey will import all of the gays (now I’m laughing as I fall off my chair.)  I hope it goes over well and will open the door to better things.

Some interesting reading on the subject:  Click here.

More details on the Festival in English:    Click here.

 

 

 

Community

There is a small park a couple of doors down from my home.  I never go there. The little pools are always dry.  The walls covered in graffiti.  The benches are dusty.  The playground in the back is usually empty.  Teenagers hang out and smoke there.  Visitors to the hospital seek refuge from the shade there.  Once there was a young guy who walked our streets for a week, and said he lived there.

My husband and I only use the park as a point of reference, now that we share a car.  The car is parked in front of the park, across from the park, just pass the park.  And so on.

Last night, the park was something more, something beautiful, something magnificent.

My husband came home late from running errands after work.  We had a late dinner during which he mentioned that a large screen was at the park displaying photos of two boys. “They must be the muhtar‘s sons.”

Since I was heading out to feed the stray cats anyway, I walked over there.  The screen, draped between two trees was no longer displaying photos, but rather showed a bright sunny star-like design.  Red and white bows hung from the gates. Two tables anchored the gates, with large white flower displays and a candle in the middle of each one.  A few steps in was another table with a flower display and candle.  Two large photos of the boys shown in sorrow.

The pools were full of water and to my delight, a fountain bubbled.  Two tall candles surrounded another flower display on the pool.  Children lit smaller candles and sent them off to sail across the water.

White chairs surrounded and park benches surrounded the pool.  A large white banner was strung across two more trees.  People were filing in.  And as they were seated, they were served a large tray of dinner and drinks.  A table in the back of the park was set up for tea service.  And there at the gate was the muhtar. Dressed in black, he welcomed each and every guest.  His wife sat on a bench in the front of the crowd.

Protest Against Road Rage - Stop the Killings

This was the second anniversary of the death of their  twin sons who died in a traffic accident.  They were both on the same moped.

I immediately went home and threw on a pair of slacks.  I didn’t  think twice about it.  I wasn’t invited, but I knew the muhtar and his wife, and I wanted to show my support.  I left my camera behind, so I would not appear disrespectful.  I slipped in the back without being noticed, and took a seat along the side wall.

A few moments later, I realized my friend, Necati, was also sitting on the wall. He moved closer to chat.  Our friend, Emine, from the pastane also came to join us. Later, Semiha came and sat with the Muhtar’s wife.  Eventually, there was a crowd of at least 200 people in our small park.

It was then that I realized why I love my neighborhood of Aşağı Ayrancı so much.  It is a true community.  These folks had come out to support the muhtar and his wife as they continue to grieve.  And here I was, accepted as part of the community.  The muhtar noticed me sitting on the wall and made his way over to shake my hand.  I was then offered dinner, treats, lemonade, and tea.

A movie started to play on the screen, a Turkish classic, Yilanlarin öcü (Revenge of the Snakes – 1962.)  There were no subtitles and I found it hard to follow. Necati chimed in from time to time telling me the story and handing me a cigarette.

A boy killed a snake.  The snake was a symbol of bad luck to come. “It is an allegory.” It was a story of the struggles of a community, between rich and poor. “Have you ever been to a true Turkish village?”

I don’t know the true meaning of the movie.  I left early and didn’t see the ending, but I would like to see it again with subtitles.  I did see a lot of sex and violence.  I can’t help but wonder why this film was selected on this day.

It is a simple tale of a young couple and their little boy trying to live a suitable life in a small Anatolian village. This is a multi-layered film in which the antagonists include the mother in law, the new neighbors- with whom there is a serious land dispute, the town chiefs, and government officials who are oblivious to the needs and concerns of the average person. The snake is a symbol for the incoming troubles that will haunt the couple.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0275089/

Maybe it symbolized the struggle of the muhtar against a larger population who shows complete ambivalence to the rules of the road.  Maybe the film demonstrated his grief over his loss.  Perhaps it was simply his favorite, or a favorite to his sons.

As I left the park before the end of the film, there stood the muhtar, just outside of the gate, ready to shake my hand again.  And he thanked me.  I didn’t have the words to tell him what I was feeling, my compassion, my sorrow.  So I simply took his hand between both of mine, and held it a little longer.

I rushed back to the park early this morning so that you would have photos to get the feel of the park.  The benches were back in place.  The chairs had been removed.  But the park somehow felt different.

There was not much left to divulge what had taken place the night before.  There were paper cups strewn here or there across the lawn.  The empty pack of Pall Mall’s that Necati had shared with me was left behind on the wall.  As I spent a few minutes picking up the few pieces of trash, I admired the big white banner still hanging between the trees.  The small unlit candles floated in the water.

But there was something more.  The two tall candles that sat on the fountain’s corners were still lit.  It is possible that someone lit them this morning, but it wasn’t yet 7a.m.  Perhaps the muhtar had lit them as he headed out for work?

As I turned to head out of the park once again, I noticed there was another banner hanging closer to the entrance.  The banner contained similar words to the other.  And it had a photo of each boy.  This banner also contained their names.

Turning back to the gate, it was the first time I noticed that the wooden sign above the gate identified the name of the park, Eren-Onur Demircan Ikizler Parki , a tribute to the twins who lost their lives here in Ankara, to a senseless traffic accident.

And then I thought of the answer to Necati’s question.

Yes, I have been to a true Turkish village.  I call it Aşağı Ayrancı. A village full of pain and struggles, compassion and love.

Başın sağolsun allah sabır versin mekanı cennet olsun.